The Fear Won’t Win Out

The Fear Won’t Win Out - Amélie getting vaccinated

Thomas and I were vaccinated for COVID exactly two weeks ago, today. We didn’t know which vaccine we’d receive until we showed up for our appointment and were asked if the J&J one was okay. We were elated because that was our first choice. And the following morning, we woke up to the news it was being temporarily halted due to blood clots.

It’s no secret that I have anxiety (duh), but believe it or not, my first reaction to this new wasn’t fear; it was relief. That one shot gave us protection in two weeks rather than six (four weeks between the 1st and 2nd shots plus the two-week period afterwards). And it was comforting knowing that we didn’t have to wonder when and where we’d get the second dose. But the best part for me: one jab, which is fantastic for me considering I’m scared of shots.

If you follow me on Twitter, you might be a little confused to read that because Thomas and I gave blood last month…actually, we give quite often. You might be asking how I can be afraid of shots but be totally cool with donating blood, which is a much bigger needle, btw. The short answer is: I can’t; fear’s irrational. My best guess, though, is it’s something being pushed into my body rather than being taken out. I have the same fear when medicine is being put in an IV.

But this vaccine is more important than any fear, so I held my breath, closed my eyes, and it was over in about three seconds. Well, at least the “jab” part anyway. About six hours after receiving the shot, I started to develop flu-like symptoms, including a fever. It was a miserable thirty-six hours, but totally worth it knowing the protection it gave.

The Fear Won’t Win Out - flower between opened hands

But the vaccine’s not an excuse to act recklessly. Thomas and I will still wear our masks and practice social distancing. We will continue to do our part to help combat the spread of this awful disease. We are grateful to have had the opportunity to be immunized, and even though that little injection carried all sorts of anxiety for me, I wasn’t about to let the fear win out.

‘Til next time

Amélie

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