When I was in high school, every summer my youth group would do a “senior sendoff” to those who had just graduated. It was a chance for them to celebrate their accomplishments, say, “good-bye,” and share their plans for the future. A couple of the guys were joining the ROTC corps at a university a couple hours away. I had no doubt that they would both succeed, so it came as a surprise when several months later, I learned that one of them was regretting his decision.
Truth be told, the one that was struggling is the one that I thought would be the most successful. When I shared this with my youth leader—who had two older brothers go through the corps—she had a response I did not expect. “He’s taking it too seriously,” she said. “It’s just one big game, and he’s taking everything so personally.”
I’d never thought about a college ROTC program in that way, but oddly enough, it made sense to me—they’re head games—ways to make the participants stronger—weed out those who can’t get past them. To this day, I have no idea if the young man in question ended up quitting or sticking it out—I never heard an update. But I never forgot the lesson behind the story.
When Tommy was a senior and expressed a desire to attend VMI, I told him to tell himself, “This is just a game.” But I also advised him not to go around declaring that for everyone to hear (last thing you want is for the trainers to hear that).
So, it was a huge relief to hear, while Tommy was attending the summer transition program at VMI, that one of the counselors advised the attendees to “play the game” during the ratline. “Just do whatever the cadre (trainers) say, no matter how silly it seems.” It was music to my ears—affirmation that I wasn’t leading Tommy astray with some “out there” advice.
One more amusing aspect of the VMI “game” is all rats are given a nickname—Tommy’s: Root Beer. On the morning of the last day of Hell Week, the rats were allowed to visit a local church, which kindly provided a fab breakfast and lunch. When Tommy returned, he accidentally brought with him an unopened can of root beer—rats aren’t allowed to have their own food/drink until after Hell Week is over (and it wasn’t over until that evening). D’oh!
Cadre (the upperclassmen trainers) got on him for having it when he shouldn’t. They told him to put that root beer in his food box (everyone has one but at this point, all the rats’ boxes were empty) and he is not allowed to touch it until after breakout. “And you’re never gonna get to have it,” cadre told him, “because you’re never gonna breakout.” Can I insert a laughing emoji here? Note: Every year, rats are told that they may be the first year to not breakout—that’s when they as one unit have earned the right to be called a cadet and are officially no longer a rat.
But after that moment, he was known as Rat Root Beer. I love it! I actually have him in my contacts as that name. When he calls, I’ll answer, “Root Beer!” He’s playing the game and in the process becoming a part of something so much bigger.
But this isn’t limited to just ROTC. College students entering a fraternity or sorority have their own initiation “games” to go through. But even beyond college we see this. Who hasn’t attended an event where there are ice breaker games? And don’t forget the team building exercises employers often arrange.
All these activities are designed to help us bond and grow in some way. To get us to focus beyond the individual. To work together as a single unit. Yes, it may be tough. It may even suck in the moment. But once you’re on the other side, you couldn’t imagine going back. So, if you’re presented with the opportunity to participate in one of these experiences, don’t shy away. Don’t take it too seriously. Just play the game.
‘Til next time!