Expectations. We all have them. Some are big. Others are small. But it’s still a disappointment when something we’re looking forward to doesn’t come to pass.
On January 12th, Thomas and I dropped Tommy and one of his Brother Rats (classmates) back at VMI. It was dark and rainy, but we hugged, said our “good-byes,” and headed back home. All seemed to be going as expected. Then I received a call from Tommy the next morning.
At the beginning of the school year, all rats are paired with a 1st Class Cadet (a VMI senior). It’s sort of a mentor-mentee program to help the incoming students navigate the ratline. This relationship is more than just a VMI requirement—many times, this is a friendship that lasts a lifetime.
When Tommy called the morning of January 13th, he sounded deflated. His senior mentor was not returning. I asked Tommy how he was doing. He said, “Bummed, but there’s nothing I can do about it.”
I told him to lean on his Brother Rats and the other 1st Class Cadets in his mentor’s room. But even though he still has loads of support at VMI, it’s not the same. As breakout approaches (when the freshmen are no longer rats and have earned the right to be called “Cadets”), there are activities that the rats and their mentors do together (Tommy will do them with one of the roommates). But like I said…it’s not the same.
But such is life. I only had the privilege of meeting Tommy’s mentor a couple of times, but I remember him telling me once, “Things happen for a reason.” I can’t get this out of my head. Maybe Tommy’s supposed to breakout without his mentor. Maybe this will make him stronger. Prepare him for something in the future. Who knows? But this little hiccup isn’t going to stop him on his journey. He’s moving forward, which is what any good VMI Cadet would do.
I’m glad Tommy got paired with this 1st Class Cadet. He was a fantastic mentor, and I will be forever grateful for all he did and taught Tommy. It’s now time for Tommy to fly on his own.
But it’s not the same (experience as the other rats). No, it’s not. And in a perfect world, he’d be like every other rat and still have his mentor. But part of growing up is adjusting. Adapting. Acclimating. And he can do it. He’s prepared. Sometimes when expectations fall short, you need to run with the punches and just keep going…even when it’s not the same.
‘Til next time!