I’ll be honest, I was planning on skipping today’s post. April’s been a challenging month for me, and more and more I’m finding myself needing a break. I didn’t have a topic in mind let alone the ability to sincerely lift up anyone reading this. But that changed when I was talking with a friend last night.
I’m going to keep this short and sweet. I’m numb. Rejection after rejection takes its toll after a while. I think I hit a low point last night when my final editor holdout for #RevPit sent out manuscript requests and I did not receive one. That’s when the numbness took over.
In some ways it’s good, and in others…not so much. It’s nice because I can’t feel the immediate pain, but I know it’s only a temporary solution and probably not the healthiest way to deal with disappointment. But at the moment, it’s all I got.
Right now, my heart just wants to say, “F*** it!” and quit, but my head (and Thomas) won’t let me. So, for me, it’s pushing through. It’s sending out those queries, writing the synopsis for my work in progress, entering that manuscript contest even though I don’t feel like it. Because I’m going to break that wall, but the only way to do it is to keep at it.
I’m numb, and I’m exhausted. You may be too. But don’t give in. It’s okay not to feel. It’s not okay to give up on your dream. The excitement will return, but until then, going through the motions will suffice. Don’t let the negative win.
‘Til next time
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