Tommy, my oldest, matriculated at VMI this last Saturday. To say it was an emotional day would be an understatement. He was about to embark on the hardest, most challenging thing he’s ever done in his life so far—possibly ever. We all knew this going into it. The program is designed to find people’s limits and push them past them.
A couple weeks back, a friend recommended to Tommy that he find a mantra—something he can say to himself to get through those hardest moments. Resistance was hit. Totally understand. Here’s an 18-year-old kid about to take a plunge in the deep-end, nervous AF, and we’re asking him to add something else to the pile.
I tried to make this task a little easier for him. Songs evoke a lot of emotion. I suggested finding one that resonated with him and taking a line from that. I even suggested some. But in all this, I told him whatever he picks has to mean something to him. He’s the one that’s going to be using it. It’s his mantra, not mine.
Being more on the quiet end, Tommy didn’t bring up the subject of a manta after that. I had no idea if he’d given it a second thought. Then Matriculation Day happened. It’s a busy day. An emotional day. Several things must happen in order for the rat to participate. The event concludes with a ceremony where the rats are called to come down from the stands and line up in formation. That’s when their journey officially begins.
While we were sitting in the stands waiting for the ceremony to begin, I turned to Tommy and asked if he’d picked a mantra. He said three words: more than survive.
It brings tears to my eyes as I write these words. I knew exactly where he got that from—a song called “Edge of My Life” by Manafest. If you’ve never heard that song, I encourage you to look it up and listen to it. It is a powerful, powerful song about someone struggling to make it in life and then saying they can do more.
I gotta, gotta believe I can more than survive
Still one trick up my sleeve
We’re gonna make this one shine
“I gotta, gotta believe…” It is said with such heart and conviction. The desperation and determination is palpable. It is the perfect mantra for Tommy.
When his company was called to come down, we had about two seconds to hug. My last words to him as he side-stepped to the aisle were, “We love you. More than survive.” Now, when I hear that song, I see him running down the stadium steps and lining up behind his company. I see him marching with his company out of the building and around campus to the courtyard surrounded by the barracks. They closed the gates, signaling to parents that it’s time for us to leave.
And thus was the beginning of Hell Week—nine days of intensive training designed to only keep the strong—both physically and mentally. He’s halfway through it at the time of this posting. By the time he reads this, Hell Week will be over, but the work has only just begun. And I have no doubt about his success. He’s strong. He’s gonna more than survive. He’s gonna thrive. He’s gonna shine.
If you’re struggling, take a page out of this playbook. Find a mantra. It doesn’t have to be this. But it can be. Whatever will keep you going. Whatever will get you to that next step. Do it. Take it. Because just staying alive is no longer the name of the game. You can more than survive.
‘Til next time!